I Need Help

Hello Everyone,

[UPDATE 16 August 2019: Mom has been moved to inpatient hospice. She is unable to move any of her limbs or her head. She can barely speak and sleeps for most of the day. She's not going to last very long. I would very much appreciate your help. Instructions are below in the bold-faced paragraph, further down in this post. Thank you so much for your kindness, generosity, and support.]

As I write this, my mother is on her deathbed. She is only expected to remain with us a day or two longer, if that.

Many of you may have noticed that for the past 1.5 years my online and social media activities have been quite diminished as compared to my norm. There are numerous reasons for this but the primary reason is that I have been caring for my mother, who has been fighting #breastcancer for the fourth time and the battle took a turn for the worse about 1.5 years ago.

Mom, 3 August 2019
on her way to my sister's.

During her third round of breast cancer, mom underwent a bilateral mastectomy and oophorectomy. So when it came back this fourth time three years ago, the news was gut-wrenching. Mom's cancer metastasized and continued to spread, despite being in active treatment. It has reached her brain, lungs, pancreas, kidneys, and bones. As you can see in the photo above, she is suffering from severe lymphedema in her left arm, as her body is unable to filter out the poisonous cells.

My sister finally took mum into her care about a week ago, and I am quite saddened to report that as I write this, mum is now on her deathbed. Caring for mother these past 1.5 years has taken everything out of me, and then some. I have ignored my own health issues, which nearly killed me.

Mom with her grandchildren, 17 July 2017

A year ago, I found myself in the ER hours from my own death with a ruptured appendix and spent a month in hospital recovering. I haven't seen my therapist or doctors as often as I should and in fact this year I've seen each only once, at the beginning of the year. Other than taking mum to her treatments, I haven't left the house.

In having a few days to come up for air to breathe, I've only begun to realize how much help I need. I've reached out to my therapist and will be setting an appointment to see my doctors (where we last left off with my requiring some minor surgery and a plethora of tests).

My finances, however, are a complete and total mess. I haven't been keeping up with bills and have fees on top of fees. I also need to fix my driver's license, which will require a bit of money. Last year, I was robbed (as in physically attacked) and my entire wallet was stolen. The person who did that has been using my ID to open accounts in my name. I haven't even begun to track down these fraudulent accounts.

To add to this, with mom's impending death comes another dilemma: I am going to have to move. And I'll need a few pieces of furniture, like a bed.

As many of you know, my sole income right now is SSDI. It doesn't cover all of my expenses. And, I lost my housing subsidy nearly three years ago when mom's cancer returned for the fourth time and I moved to Connecticut from New York to help take care of her.

As most of us know, affordable housing, especially for those of us living on a fixed income, is a misnomer, especially living in the northeast without some sort of housing subsidies. And to get a housing subsidy requires literally years--if not decades--of being on a waiting list. Yes, I said years, plural, and definitely not months.

Next, what should come as a positive is a very mixed bag. I have found myself with someone in my life, nearly half my age. This person has a few serious "issues" but we're in love, supposedly. Unfortunately, I've also found myself in a legal situation as a result of my engagement with this person, which will require some money to get out of (for legal fees and such) but, as I said, we're (supposedly) in love.

Finally, I had planned on starting a new business, providing a range of professional services to individuals and small businesses from coaching to marketing (including social media) to technology consulting. Mom's illness has delayed those plans, of course.

I haven't even begun to unravel what it's been like for me these past 1.5 years. But my personal absence from social media should yield some clues.

What this all boils down to is that I need help, and I need money. I need people to continue to check in on me, and I am ever so grateful to those of you who have done so. You don't know how much your kind words and thoughts have carried me through this turbulent period of my life.

If you can, I would really appreciate if you could send me whatever you can afford, from $1 to $100, to help me get back on my feet. Anyone who sends more than a few dollars, I'll try to give something back to them, perhaps a coaching session once I get up and running.

You can send money via most online methods available to pcfrank73@gmail.com (Zelle (bank transfer), PayPal, CashApp, Google Pay, Venmo, Facebook, Amazon eGift cards (I can order food & stuff), etc.).

If you cannot send money, then please share my story. Once my mother does transition, I'll write more about the personal toll caring has taken on me, the medical and legal battles that we've had to fight and the insanity of both systems, and the absurdity of government entanglement.

I remain grateful to all of you for taking the time to read this, and for being there for me in my time of need.